10.ANGER....i would give anyone in this planet earth a run for their money for the title "angry young lady"..this emotion of mine comes way down at the bottom..because of the endless times i have ended up in trouble just because of the lack of control..u can say..short temper is my weakness..be it to my mom...my friends..or even the material stuff...when it totally goes against what i have in mind for it...but being a normal human being..i dont think i can afford to get rid of this...but i definitely hope this remains at the bottom always...
9.DISAPPOINTMENT....definitely not a frequent visitor like the above mentioned...but when it visited..it left its marks...it left me untouched for the first 15 years of my life...gave a blow when at 15 by giving me less than expected marks for 10th boards(believe me when i say this that studies were the only concern of my life then...)..it brought me back to ground zero...struck me with force of a tsunami at 17 for the pathetic marks at 12th boards and miserable performance at the entrance exams and a heinous choice of a friend...i m out of its touch for the past few years...maybe because my aspirations and dreams have reached normal ground level...:)
8.FEAR.....my greatest fear..is losing my loved ones...i cannot bear to even think of that....my fear of getting caught...my fear of failure...then comes my fear of...wooo...ghosts....spiders...snakes....cockroaches...lizards...all reptiles unspecified...i overcame my fear of darkness..dunno when and how....but i think being fearless takes a lot of fun out of life...how else can you scream...."iss jungle se mujhe bachaooo............"
7.ENVY....my most prized possession...i am envious of beauty..of perfection....i m jealous of pretty women...of models in hour glass figures adorning gorgeous sarees and dazzling diamonds...i m envious of most of the stuff i lack...envious of all the stuff that huge amounts of money buy without being aware of the fact that i have even priceless stuff with me that those very sums can never even afford....
6.HATE....somebody once said...hating my boy...is an art..i am proud to say that i have mastered that art...i can hate unconditionally...to the point of commiting a crime..yea..!!!i hate to kill...i am not gonna give any examples of whom and what i hate because then this post will be an endless one then....
5.JOY...i never seem to be a very happy person..i dont smile always...i dont jump around enthusiastically being the life and soul of any gang...i never seem satisfied...but the truth is..i find happiness in being happy...i get joy from the weirdest of stuff...the sight of sachin tendulkar walking onto the pitch to bat can make me happy even if i am in the deepest dumps after losing everything...i find joy in letting loose the ties and bonds for a while and crossing the line ocassionaly....i find joy in living life my own way...i find joy in teaching...i find joy in my doggies...hmmm...and i find ultimate joy in the happiness of the ones i love...:)
4.TRUST...This has always been my problem...i easily trust people...and blindly follow them and end up in trouble..but i guess its worthwhile to trust than be suspicious of the whole world...the only section of the society that i dont trust are auto rickshaw drivers and cats..that too for entirely personal reasons..once i trust a person i stand by them even when the whole world and my own brain goes agianst them...i dont think it takes years to develop trust..for me..trust is the basis of every relationship...good and bad...and when i say i trust you...i mean it....
3.GRIEF....my very own...had it not been for it..i wouldnt have realised how precious life is that death steals it away...it is the link to my love...its my sole companion through the storm hit days even though it eases no pain.....i have read somewer...
"between grief and nothing,some will take grief...but those who take nothing will surely regret,
that they cant be robbed in good time..thats a thief,...of memories that grief cannot make them forget........."
2.PASSION................PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL!!!!!!
1.undoubtedly...LOVE....towards my family..my friends...my love...that uncondiotional emotion that stays with me even when i leave my hands and heart open...the best feeling ever to be in..it gives you pain...it gives you memories..it makes you live...to be loved and cared for is actually the best thing we can ask for..i could never actually explain what love was...i feel in the hug of my mom...the trust of my dad...touch of my love...words of my sis...and the presence of my dogs...i dunno what it actually is...but it prompts me to live and love more...maybe its that momentary madness that erupted in me and never quite subsided....maybe.....:)
