here is to baby priya...!!!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
my first caesarean!!!
i didnt do it...but witnessing it was just as thrilling....i think we made a good audience..the eeeeww's when the amniotic bag was torn and the "water" was spurting out like a fountain...the ooohhss when we first saw the glimpse of the babys head inside....the aayyyoooo's when the baby was pulled out by a forceps....the aaahhhsss when the baby was fully out....and the soundless exclamations at the site of umbilical cord and tha placenta....the glees when we were assigned to find out if the baby was a gal or a boy...and finally the happiness for the mummy for getting a healthy baby inspite of the first two abortions and the present complications......
here is to baby priya...!!!!
here is to baby priya...!!!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
starting out new...
a new beginning...a new awakening...trusting in god..that was what was going on in my mind when i was all set to start another stint at my college as a "3rd year junior"!!!...elated thought i was that i passed...disappointment too etched my mind thinking i couldnt score well.....a new week just went by...and i didnt realise how fast it had gone..something which is quite new with me after being a college goer....
my first posting was at sat hospital..obstetrics and gyneac...when i started out i didnt know the difference between the two...and now a week since i am glad to say that i kno atleast their difference...its a different experience altogether...diferent in the sense...i could feel my patience being tested and still the smile didnt leave my face...i am slowly losing out my very ancient "afraid and disgusted of crowd" behaviour....i didnt faint in the operation theatre....i could mingle freely with the patients at the OPD...i felt awed by the new born babies...couldnt take my eyes of their naturally pink attire..(GOB u should have seen them).....at the same time felt repulsed at the state of the mothers to be...of the big tummies and bigger appettite....i didnt see any glowing skin...i didnt see them with hoardes of people attending to their whims and fancies....i didnt see their craving for ben and jerrys extra dark chocolate icesream being catered to...(i am not sure if any of them even know what it is...)...i didnt see them fretting over pregnant mummy exercise and reading how to lose weight in the post partum period
but i saw them as women...happy to be fat....happy to give a shelter to their baby...happy to suffer through the anxiety and pain....praying to give birth to a normal healthy baby...worrying about the state of the family they have left behind at home.....all ready to help us students with our history taking....who blinks at us when we ask about the contraceptives they have used(many needed translation).....giggled when asked about the frequency of coitus...apprehensive about us learning by touching their most precious possession-their extra large tummy with a life inside.....
yes...it is indeed life....the most beautiful moment when i felt the kick of a baby while palpating a pregnant woman....he was just 36 weeks and not born yet..but he felt irked by us disturbing him...and i heard his heart beating extra fast(quite normal for a baby)....it was really a beautiful moment...when you feel the life inside...and i guess...the feeling intensifies and becomes even more breath taking when you feel the life inside your own body....i guess i kind of understand why women give birth going through all the pain....
it wasnt just about the wards...the theatres were a different thing....witnessed some PG people messing up with a spinal anaesthesia....mistook a hyeterctomy for a caesarian when a humoungous fibroid of the size of a baby was being taken out....witnessed them screaming with pain and discomfort at the minor theatre....
not just that...for the patients there...there are no madams and students.....there are only doctors...and they see us as one with the stethescope and coats on....and they respect us...and expects a lot from us...sigh!!!
i just pray that i can do something to make these people happy....and hopefully my wish be granted!!!!....
off to another week......
my first posting was at sat hospital..obstetrics and gyneac...when i started out i didnt know the difference between the two...and now a week since i am glad to say that i kno atleast their difference...its a different experience altogether...diferent in the sense...i could feel my patience being tested and still the smile didnt leave my face...i am slowly losing out my very ancient "afraid and disgusted of crowd" behaviour....i didnt faint in the operation theatre....i could mingle freely with the patients at the OPD...i felt awed by the new born babies...couldnt take my eyes of their naturally pink attire..(GOB u should have seen them).....at the same time felt repulsed at the state of the mothers to be...of the big tummies and bigger appettite....i didnt see any glowing skin...i didnt see them with hoardes of people attending to their whims and fancies....i didnt see their craving for ben and jerrys extra dark chocolate icesream being catered to...(i am not sure if any of them even know what it is...)...i didnt see them fretting over pregnant mummy exercise and reading how to lose weight in the post partum period
but i saw them as women...happy to be fat....happy to give a shelter to their baby...happy to suffer through the anxiety and pain....praying to give birth to a normal healthy baby...worrying about the state of the family they have left behind at home.....all ready to help us students with our history taking....who blinks at us when we ask about the contraceptives they have used(many needed translation).....giggled when asked about the frequency of coitus...apprehensive about us learning by touching their most precious possession-their extra large tummy with a life inside.....
yes...it is indeed life....the most beautiful moment when i felt the kick of a baby while palpating a pregnant woman....he was just 36 weeks and not born yet..but he felt irked by us disturbing him...and i heard his heart beating extra fast(quite normal for a baby)....it was really a beautiful moment...when you feel the life inside...and i guess...the feeling intensifies and becomes even more breath taking when you feel the life inside your own body....i guess i kind of understand why women give birth going through all the pain....
it wasnt just about the wards...the theatres were a different thing....witnessed some PG people messing up with a spinal anaesthesia....mistook a hyeterctomy for a caesarian when a humoungous fibroid of the size of a baby was being taken out....witnessed them screaming with pain and discomfort at the minor theatre....
not just that...for the patients there...there are no madams and students.....there are only doctors...and they see us as one with the stethescope and coats on....and they respect us...and expects a lot from us...sigh!!!
i just pray that i can do something to make these people happy....and hopefully my wish be granted!!!!....
off to another week......
Friday, January 9, 2009
:-(
heard a tragic news quite unexpectedly...about the demise of a schoolmate...felt really saad..she wasnt my best friend..but i knew her personally....tessy..a real sweetheart...dont wanna go on talking about how good and great she was....she slipped from a waterfall at bangalore and drowned...just want to say that her friends will miss her a loot....whereever you are..may your soul rest in peace...!!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
in loving memory of...
i have lost someone..and my inner senses prevent me from accepting it...but i guess i have to move on..and to say it out aloud that you are dead...makes it profound..ultimate...theres no escaping the truth...you have gone...left me forever....
you were such an integral part of me...there wasn't a single second that i could think of leaving you....i couldn't breathe..eat..study...bath..sleep.....you were with me always...how was i to know that it wouldn't last forever...you were my jealously guarded possession...the keeper of all my deepest darkest secrets....you found me my love...you gave me reasons to laugh..to rejoice...you gave me a shoulder to cry on...you were the reflection of my moods....
you pacified me when i was angry...the endless times i used to hit you..torture you..and you would be there rock solid..with not so much as a scratch...people teased you were from the old school of thought....others made fun saying you were a slow coach....but i stood by you...then why did you leave me??..
you were soo young to die...maybe god loved you soo much that he called you back sooner than we would have thought...but then why such a brutal death??....drowned and asphyxiated..i wouldn't wish such an end to my worst enemy...was that a suicide??..or a preplanned murder??...i never know....i cried for you...tried to call you back...tried to wake you up...but you didn't respond....i rushed you to the nearest emergency...but i could sense i was to hear the worst because you were lying rigid cold in my arms...with not so much as a flutter....
i didn't want to cremate you or bury you...i waited for days on end to see if a shadow of life would cross your face...but i was disappointed...you had left me...with no way to turn back...my tears were in vain...it was final...you were gone...
i still miss you...nobody answers when i call out "chakkudu"...i had christened you thus...you took along my friends also...but i didn't care...the grief of losing you was soo much that i could think of nothing else...nobody sings "addicted" now....nobody fits soo snugly into my hands....i miss you a loot chakkudu....i miss everything about you.....you will be the first and last nokia n70 of my life....i promise you this......!!!!.....goodbye dear...it was great knowing you......
you were such an integral part of me...there wasn't a single second that i could think of leaving you....i couldn't breathe..eat..study...bath..sleep.....you were with me always...how was i to know that it wouldn't last forever...you were my jealously guarded possession...the keeper of all my deepest darkest secrets....you found me my love...you gave me reasons to laugh..to rejoice...you gave me a shoulder to cry on...you were the reflection of my moods....
you pacified me when i was angry...the endless times i used to hit you..torture you..and you would be there rock solid..with not so much as a scratch...people teased you were from the old school of thought....others made fun saying you were a slow coach....but i stood by you...then why did you leave me??..
you were soo young to die...maybe god loved you soo much that he called you back sooner than we would have thought...but then why such a brutal death??....drowned and asphyxiated..i wouldn't wish such an end to my worst enemy...was that a suicide??..or a preplanned murder??...i never know....i cried for you...tried to call you back...tried to wake you up...but you didn't respond....i rushed you to the nearest emergency...but i could sense i was to hear the worst because you were lying rigid cold in my arms...with not so much as a flutter....
i didn't want to cremate you or bury you...i waited for days on end to see if a shadow of life would cross your face...but i was disappointed...you had left me...with no way to turn back...my tears were in vain...it was final...you were gone...
i still miss you...nobody answers when i call out "chakkudu"...i had christened you thus...you took along my friends also...but i didn't care...the grief of losing you was soo much that i could think of nothing else...nobody sings "addicted" now....nobody fits soo snugly into my hands....i miss you a loot chakkudu....i miss everything about you.....you will be the first and last nokia n70 of my life....i promise you this......!!!!.....goodbye dear...it was great knowing you......
Sunday, January 4, 2009
back to college
i guess its time to go back to college...results are out..and i managed to pass...still havent got over that shock....classes were supposed to begin from monday but due to several reasons unfathomable to us lesser mortals who are the mercy of scalpel handed doctors...i m still at home...now they are saying that classes might...start on thursday....i wish they would just begin it....i am raring to go....
seriously..i am...because for a change...i have some points to prove to certain people...i guess at the end of this stint..i would have some beautiful memories to script on this blog rather than my usual bantering about how unfair unjust and ugly my college life is....
there is a long way to go and this time i am ready...for the trolls and monsters..ready not to let go of those rare opportunities....i hope everything turns out...hopefully good!!!!!
seriously..i am...because for a change...i have some points to prove to certain people...i guess at the end of this stint..i would have some beautiful memories to script on this blog rather than my usual bantering about how unfair unjust and ugly my college life is....
there is a long way to go and this time i am ready...for the trolls and monsters..ready not to let go of those rare opportunities....i hope everything turns out...hopefully good!!!!!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
welcome 2009
i dont believe in saying goodbyes....i believe in welcoming a year with a great hug....i dont really believe in taking new year resolutions...but this year...i am going to give it a try.....
before that...i need to take a second to thank god almighty for being with me all through the previous year..in all the deep downs and valleys i met..and in the very few successes i tasted..i felt your presence beside me....thank you god!!..this time around i am not going to be a complaint box and tell you what all u didnt give me or how you screwed up my life....i just want to give you a big hug and a say an even bigger thank you..for the being the greatest power that controls my life towards the good......
2008 was filled with surprises...i never knew i had these much tears in me to shed...i never knew i had this much resolve in me to face the atrocious situations that i landed myself in....i never knew that i had this much talent in lounging away my time....i never knew that i would hate my life and love it the next second....i never knew that whatsoever be my self proclamations of being independent..that i am solely dependent..emotionally..monetarily..and mentally on a whole lot of people....i never knew that i would hate a year this much..i never knew that i would have such a great ending to a disastrous year proving that..all's well that ends well....
i never knew....for theres a lot more for me to know and learn....
2008 taught me to be brave...strong...and at the same time..timid.....taught me the biggest lesson that if i dont love something or someone...i can never do justice to watsoever it is.....and that i will get royally screwed up in the end....
today...looking back i am a satisfied person...a happy individual....i have everyone on my side...i passed my exams....i feel gods presence throughout...i am strong...i have learned from my faults....i have shed my inhibitions......
come on 2009.....i am ready for another stint at adventure....i am ready to tackle you....i am ready to prove myself......i am ready to break the rules...i am ready to forgive quickly...ready to love truly and to laugh uncontrollably....and above all never to forget anyone who made me smile...atleast for a nanosecond....welcome 2009!!!!
to everyone around...wishing you a very happy and prosperous new year!!!
new year comes with great expectations....great hopes....new dreams...and new stories to unfold....
but what is a new year without a resolution....
i resolve to be a better human human being in every possible way...to try and bring a smile to atleast a single person around me....to live life to the fullest...never repenting what i do and never regretting about what i missed......i resolve to be me....!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
before that...i need to take a second to thank god almighty for being with me all through the previous year..in all the deep downs and valleys i met..and in the very few successes i tasted..i felt your presence beside me....thank you god!!..this time around i am not going to be a complaint box and tell you what all u didnt give me or how you screwed up my life....i just want to give you a big hug and a say an even bigger thank you..for the being the greatest power that controls my life towards the good......
2008 was filled with surprises...i never knew i had these much tears in me to shed...i never knew i had this much resolve in me to face the atrocious situations that i landed myself in....i never knew that i had this much talent in lounging away my time....i never knew that i would hate my life and love it the next second....i never knew that whatsoever be my self proclamations of being independent..that i am solely dependent..emotionally..monetarily..and mentally on a whole lot of people....i never knew that i would hate a year this much..i never knew that i would have such a great ending to a disastrous year proving that..all's well that ends well....
i never knew....for theres a lot more for me to know and learn....
2008 taught me to be brave...strong...and at the same time..timid.....taught me the biggest lesson that if i dont love something or someone...i can never do justice to watsoever it is.....and that i will get royally screwed up in the end....
today...looking back i am a satisfied person...a happy individual....i have everyone on my side...i passed my exams....i feel gods presence throughout...i am strong...i have learned from my faults....i have shed my inhibitions......
come on 2009.....i am ready for another stint at adventure....i am ready to tackle you....i am ready to prove myself......i am ready to break the rules...i am ready to forgive quickly...ready to love truly and to laugh uncontrollably....and above all never to forget anyone who made me smile...atleast for a nanosecond....welcome 2009!!!!
to everyone around...wishing you a very happy and prosperous new year!!!
new year comes with great expectations....great hopes....new dreams...and new stories to unfold....
but what is a new year without a resolution....
i resolve to be a better human human being in every possible way...to try and bring a smile to atleast a single person around me....to live life to the fullest...never repenting what i do and never regretting about what i missed......i resolve to be me....!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
another christmas....
man proposes..God disposes......
i said nopes..no way....God said....yeaa..of course...
i said wow...and God said...yuck!!
i said of course...and God said...think again....!!!
this is the story of my life...and it will be..because by now i know very well that the one up there is a big practical joker...and mostly i m his target.....talk about bullying!!!!...
and this was proved again this year....my so called november which i love soo much...which i celebrate soo much turned out to be an utter disaster.....and the December which i pitied and loathed for giving me loneliness turned out to be quite a sweet month......
this year...i predicted that Christmas would be a sad affair...its supposed to be a time for family...but it was just me and my mom at home...but Santa had other plans for me.....
he was late in showing up...true....but better late than never.....he gave me a gift...in spite of me being a brat and a complaint box...he did give me a gift...it was the best gift ever...
he gave me the gift to make the most out of the time i have with me...even if i am alone or with friends or lost in a crowd...he told me that i should enjoy each and every moment....
enjoy the smiles...the tears...the hugs...the laughs...the taunts....whatever be it....to enjoy...
because maybe one day i will be left to live only with the memories of these....and if dont do that today....i might be left with nothing.....
thank you santa....i almost stopped believing in you...i almost destroyed my christmas spirit.....but u gave it all back..right in time....
so my mom and i had a quiet but beautiful xmas at home eating and drinking and watching movies....celebrating it our way...in our own little way......
and guess what i saw yesterday night when i looked out of my window.....
i said nopes..no way....God said....yeaa..of course...
i said wow...and God said...yuck!!
i said of course...and God said...think again....!!!
this is the story of my life...and it will be..because by now i know very well that the one up there is a big practical joker...and mostly i m his target.....talk about bullying!!!!...
and this was proved again this year....my so called november which i love soo much...which i celebrate soo much turned out to be an utter disaster.....and the December which i pitied and loathed for giving me loneliness turned out to be quite a sweet month......
this year...i predicted that Christmas would be a sad affair...its supposed to be a time for family...but it was just me and my mom at home...but Santa had other plans for me.....
he was late in showing up...true....but better late than never.....he gave me a gift...in spite of me being a brat and a complaint box...he did give me a gift...it was the best gift ever...
he gave me the gift to make the most out of the time i have with me...even if i am alone or with friends or lost in a crowd...he told me that i should enjoy each and every moment....
enjoy the smiles...the tears...the hugs...the laughs...the taunts....whatever be it....to enjoy...
because maybe one day i will be left to live only with the memories of these....and if dont do that today....i might be left with nothing.....
thank you santa....i almost stopped believing in you...i almost destroyed my christmas spirit.....but u gave it all back..right in time....
so my mom and i had a quiet but beautiful xmas at home eating and drinking and watching movies....celebrating it our way...in our own little way......
and guess what i saw yesterday night when i looked out of my window.....
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